The maid of honor just puked.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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