Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
