I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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