PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
