He uses pillows to masturbate.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
