my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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