And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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