I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
