Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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