i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
