Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
