maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
