You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize