Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
