the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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