i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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