She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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