We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
