People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
