As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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