I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
