Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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