The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
