If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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