i can't believe i had my finger in that
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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