The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
