I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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