if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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