you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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