well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize