He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize