i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
