know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
