Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He passed out mid-signature
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
