he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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