i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
