Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
