My nipple is on Facebook.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
my shit smells like andre
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
