Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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