We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
