I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
