the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
