so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
