Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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