When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
