Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
