he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
