things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
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