There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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