i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
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