$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
