There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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