He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
