you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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