I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
