Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
