Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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