drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
