Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
